BEGINNERS MIND

Strange as it seems to me, I suddenly realise ,that although I have been painting for nigh on 30 years , I have never learned to paint.
I don't mean to say I have learned nothing from experience . I have, however,  never been  taught .

At Art College I  hid my copy of the newly published interiors magazine under my table and whilst lusting after the beautiful and interesting rooms and other spaces I saw  , wanting to be either an interior designer or at the very least a painter of images to place in such lovely spaces as those  I was enjoying  in the magazine . Meanwhile , I tried to please my personal tutor by making installations and performance pieces that money could not buy and could definitely not be accommodated anywhere other than in a gallery.

I graduated from an art college in 1986 .I had studied fine art for four long years.  What I learned there and was actively taught, was that impermanence was the goal of the artist. . I was encouraged ,or perhaps ,indoctrinated would be a better word, to believe  that only pieces that could not be purchased  by the bourgeoisie were worth making.

On graduating I had no idea what I was going to do as I had no longer got the access to the technology or manual assistance that I had  at art school  .... I studied interior design and ceramics but they did not satisfy all that much although I enjoyed both.

 video installation graduation  piece 1986

 I studied interior design and ceramics after my fine art course , and although I enjoyed decorating and designing for their potential to explore my eclectic taste for folk art, ethnography ,religion, poetry and everything in between , ultimately I was a (so called) fine artist and  I needed a medium  through which I could   express my experience of being alive .
Did I say , I am shy ? Yes shy of my poetic nature , of my deep love of all that is sentient phenomina .. I was an "EMO"  ,I think that means  ,emotionally overwhelmed, if not,  it does now as far as I'm concerned.so I taught myself HOW TO PAINT

I am   a SELF taught painter.

I started with Rubens . And I started with How Rubens started his paintings ie. under-drawing in red ochre/burnt sienna.

(I drew really well so that bit I had mastered) .

I got a studio and set to work .(see pic left)



I started from the heart (mine) and with the heart above on the left wall of the studio and  the canvas behind me in the centre is a hand copied lace mantilla and a heart . I was in mourning for  lost love . and I was starting as I meant to continue , that is to say , from real emotional experience .