A Painting day

We artists find great fulfilment in pursuing our craft, but we are always dissatisfied with the results, which pushes us toward growth and excellence. (Steve Easterwood)

today is a Wednesday . Wednesday is a painting day . Why do I have a painting day? good question . Why do I do anything ? Because I want to be a better painter .( to self ..Is it all about becoming better ? am I not good enough ? Am I good ? after better will I want to be best ? ..no ,but I would like to be my  best and  someones favourite !I am more than one persons favourite person  already and am loved by one or two also.)
I want to be more skilled  at everything.
There is a great deal of desire it seems in my life in all that wanting. Is there passion ? What is the difference between passion and desire ? between passion and wanting ?
I have a passion for colour ,for design for beauty for nature, for kindness ,for wholeness and integrity and a desire ,a want, to love and be loved  . I want love ?
Am I wanting love ? Do I really feel myself to be without love ? I do not love myself very much these days , so yes I am wanting that love my love for my self .

.
How can I love myself more ? I cannot be younger ,taller ,smarter,but I could be more "successful" could I not ?
Success has to be evaluated and measured .It is an outcome . I learnt this in my teacher training .
There has to be a goal or rather ,in teaching terms, an aim . I have never been good at setting goals which is ,I suppose  why I am a little hazy about what success or successes  I may have had  over the years.
However, In November 2014 I set myself the goal of becoming a better painter. Have I achieved that goal ? By what criteria should,or could ,I now  measure my level of success ?

here is an oil painting from 2003

and below , an acrylic painted in July 2015

The 2003 image of the mare and foal on the moor ,to my surprise ,shares  certain similarities with the second 2015 image of the swallows . The difference ,other than the medium ,(the first being in oil and the second in acrylic),is that the horses were painted plein air ,out in the open ,on Dartmoor and I was painting what I saw . The swallows on the other hand were purely from my imagination and not at all conceived of when I began the painting.

 The process which brought the swallows into being went thus-wise .

stages 1-9

I am not a better painter than before . I am though a different sort of painter ,braver and my imagination more liberated . So There you are regardless of whether the painting has improved , I have definitely improved as a painter . I am braver and more liberated. I have more to learn about colour and about the dark . 

I also enjoy this process more than painting directly what I see . It is quite different from painting what one sees and going straight for reproducing the object or scene on the flat surface ,which of course has it's pleasure and its value. I find the latter  too easy . Too easy , so not much of an achievement . I now enjoy the exploration of colour for its own sake in fact I am passionate about it whereas previously I was just copying it from the subject. I explore the very edge of failure throughout the process . 

All in all ,painting this way has made this painter,my self ,much better ,I  love this self who is adventurous ,brave ,intuitive , who trusts in the process so wholly. 

If you have any questions about this method I have adopted please subscribe to the blog and ask away

It's cool ...and there is loads more to tell  !!

HAIKU

I dare not go out today
 but there are two birds on the tree
In the cold wet falling sleet.

December 2009©

I can never see birds in the tree outside my window without thinking of the

Japanese printmaker Shiko Munakata.
Here are some of his prints of birds in trees

His work is just a perfect expression of how I feel 50% of the time the other 50% is made up of other feelings.
I empathize with his work
No not really his “work” but his “ being” his energy.
Poetic , erotic, committed to celebrating life.

But I want more............. more simplicity............... more metaphor , “more of less” more to ponder

I love the way he takes complex scenes and simplifies them ;transforms them from the complicated experience of human life and the natural world into to the innocenct perception of childhood.
This is largely a function of the medium of printmaking itself .

However, the choice to use the medium for this particular purpose is not one that everyone takes on board with such vigour which was ultimately a religious fervour for Munakata.

He said “ I want my body and my soul to become totally united with my work...I want to reach a state where there is no boundary between self and other or between body and soul, and everything is absorbed into the print itself” This was made when he had transcended the “ego of the artist” as part of his Buddhist practice.

his desire to transcend ego drove him on and he left a body of work that connected us to earthly things... and unearthly things to the everyday  a paradox indeed .

It is snowing heavily now ...... I consider the birds of the air
Google to see more of Shiko Munakata